Sunday, September 04, 2005

MVG's Driving Adventure

...but first, a bruise update
Before getting into the retelling of the 'Voyage Home' from MVG, first I want to update you all on the bruise from the cycling incident. Here is a picture of what the bruise looks like on day 2... nasty. Speaking of cycling, MVG and I rolled out the bikes for another ride today, a hilly endeavor through Sewickley and the hills around it. A nice day, with much nicer motorists (also, much fewer).
MVG had overcome the fatigue from the voyage, and was ready to tackle a challenging ride (she surprised me at one point and PASSED ME on a hill - going up). Unfortunately, I forgot the Starbuck's card, or anything resembling cash, so we couldn't stop for our celebratory coffee.

The Projectile
I was on the phone to MVG on the morning of the departure (Friday, Sept 2). The shuttle craft was leaving the Great White North at 7:30am (for what usually is a 5 - 5 1/2 hour journey). Here are some notes of interest to set the mood for the drive:

  • Pointy purchased a slot machine (henceforth referred to as 'The Projectile')
  • Pointy and Sammy don't really get along or like one another
  • Sammy likes to stop frequently for FULL meals, as well as 'Turnpike Shopping'
  • The occupants of the shuttle craft had spent the entire week together, and were all out of 'small talk'

I had organized the seating arrangements for the occupants of the shuttle in a conversation with MVG earlier in the week. I used an algorithm that would afford MVG both maximum comfort and safety. It is as follows:

1) MVG should NEVER sit in front of 'The Projectile' in case of a crash
2) MVG should MINIMIZE sitting next to 'The Projectile' for the sake of comfort.
3) 'The Projectile' should sit in the rear passenger side seat.
4) Pointy should MAXIMIZE his time next to the projectile (reduction in comfort as a penalty of purchase, and chance of crash is low)
5) When Pointy is not next to 'The Projectile', he should be driving (again to reduce any chance at comfort), and MVG should be positioned in the rear driver's side seat.
6) By process of elimination, Sammy will ALWAYS be in front of 'The Projectile'.

If there is a crash, Pointy would (if not belted in) provide a softer projectile than the actual projectile (which is, in fact, more pointy than Pointy is.)

Okay, so back to the actual trip. I may as well tell you the duration now, to get it over with... but you have to promise to continue reading (in case the duration was the only reason you have been reading thus far). It was 10 hours. TEN HOURS. The pickup of 'The Projectile' added a significant amount of time, since Pointy did not, in fact, know where 'The Projectile' was located in the state of Michigan (he left the map in his hotel room in the Great White North). Fortunately, MVG had used mapquest the night before to plot it, and had a vague recollection of where it was hidden... a BP petrol station provided the missing link en route. After gathering 'The Projectile', the next stop was a rest area (a.k.a. Grease Pit) on the Ohio Turnpike. Sammy had a milkshake, Pointy had a burger, and MVG ate her pre-packed Clif Bar.

Upon arrival at Pointy's house, MVG had to help pointy remove 'The Projectile' (which, by the way, weighed in at over 250 pounds... slightly more than Pointy himself). They wrestled 'The Projectile' (somehow) into Pointy's basement and set it up next to the other similar projectiles. From this point, Sammy took the helm of the shuttle craft, and began the 60 minute half hour hell ride to return MVG home (1/2 hour drive that took a full hour). Apparently Sammy does not have ANY depth perception, so is unable to detect if she is about to plow into the back of another vehicle. Fortunately, she drives far to slow to have this occur.

Anyhow, that is the story as told to me from MVG, and is the reason why she is so tired...

P.S. She has a sore back now, probably from lifting 'The Projectile', and may have to miss some work due to the pain.

Until next time, signing off... VG

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